Get a piece of dog shit (or cat, but dog is better), compress it until it's the size of a small brick and then bake it in the sun for a few days and you'll have yourself a Calorie Mate bar. That is the best way to describe the look and texture of these health bars.
They come in chocolate, cheese, fruit, vegetable and a new flavor I haven't worked out yet. They all taste identical but they're actually pretty good and satisfying and I keep one in my bag all the time (except when I'm eating it, but then I get another to replace it when I'm done.)
Don't believe me they're good. Well, Jack Bauer has been advertising them in Japan and would Jack lie?
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